well, i'm just sitting here...
it seems like a lots happened lately but it really hasnt.
my teachers seemed to be sympathetic about my grandma but it seems like i've passes standard "mourning time" or watever. wich is insane.
my grandma was the only person who ever told me i was beautiful. my dad never says it. infact, he says the exact opostie every time he tells me i'm fat and gonna be just like my mom;s family.and my mom never says anything like that because she can't handle her wheight either. my grandma was probably the only thin person in the last 4 generations of Hilperts, and was the only one to ever tell me that i dont look like scum. and all this seems weird because "looks arent everything" but because kim's already a better athlete, and laura's the brain, it doesnt leave me much does it?
well thats the reasoning behind some of the madness, but still there are all the other things going on that are, or have always bothered me.

i guess the most recent issue is about which skool i should go to.
after last year i had decided i didnt fit and crossroads would be a better choice because its a) much closer to my house, and b) i'd all ready have a definete friend there (sara).
but now, i'm not sure if i'm ready to give up on marlborough. i've been able to carve some space into the pretty rigid cliques at my school. it seems like everyone has been friends, or has paired up with someone, and now they are insepreable.
but still, i'm not really close enough to one group to be invited to every day stuff... like i'll be invited like before a big party, or dance or something, but when i wont get invited to go shopping after skool or to a movie or something. wich really sucks. it makes me feel really left out when everyone tells me about their plans. maybe they think someone else has invited me, or because i live far away from them, i wouldnt be able to go.
but the real cherry on top is that i'm busy enough with skool, sports, sleep, and keeping up with my old friends i dont see every day at skool, that i probably wouldnt have much time left to go everywhere with them.
i guess what i'm saying if by chance any marlboro gals are reading this, yea, i'm busy, but i would honestly make time to fit in at skool.

and theres a lot more i dont really want to go into now, but maybe i will tomorrow.

peace, luv, and ben&jerrys.
Sprinkles.